The Kottonmouth Kings Suck

11 04 2008


So I said I’d right a blog about my undying disgust for the Kottonmouth kings. They are just so damn annoying and just plain out lame. I mean look at all the “bros” and “bro hoes” that listen to them. It reminds me of where I grew up. Don’t get me wrong, I love my small town of Upland, Ca – lil town that spawned some big names. It’s one of the only cool cities in the IE. But for the most part, the IE houses a bunch of lamos. A bunch of Sullen, SRH, Famous Stars and Straps, bandana wearing, clunky white skate shoe sportin, sideways hat mobbin, black pulled up tube socks, spiky haired dumb asses! Gosh I loathe those kinds of dorks and the lame chicks that go for them. With their raised “bro dozers” cruising the IE by the sea (Huntington Beach) as they blast their shitty Kottonmouth Kings.

This is one of the reasons I had a left a former magazine I had written for, whose name we won’t mention. Loved my editor, he’s one cool cat but I hated how this mag was so associated with all that is lame as pointed out above (don’t take it personal if you’re still with them and reading this, it just ain’t my thing). Especially the Kottonmouth Kings.

Funny story! I was at an ASR party this past February and this dumb ass starts talking to me. Mind you he is the epitome of what I loathe (as stated above) but I was still polite. So he picks up this “magazine” and says, “You like this magazine?” And I was like, “Sometimes, I used to write for them.” He’s like, “Oh no way, cool well I’m in it!” As he so joyously shows me his photos of him in some clothing pictorial. I’m just about to shoot myself if I have to listen to this dumbass any longer. Granted, I still don’t know who this fucker is, acting like he’s of some notoriety. Then he asks me, “Have you heard of the Kottonmouth Kings?” I finally came back to life in a dull moment and joyously said “Yeah! I fuckin HATE that band!” Dude looks at me in shock and says, “Oh, well that’s my band.” Woops.

Now what kind of a moron would do this …

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74 responses

16 01 2009
Nikkay

Not 16, I’m actually 21. And just because everyone out there is not like your uptight whitey tighty wearing self, and doesn’t have their FUCK KOTTONMOUTH KINGS signs in the air like you do, doesn’t mean you get all butt hurt just because we aren’t like you. Go smoke some weed, listen to your lame Phish records.
Kottonmouth Kings, Suburban Noize, all the music on that label is better than anything you will ever hear.

16 01 2009
Nikkay

STUPID CUNT

25 01 2009
brando

THIS FOOL IS MAD CAUSE HE GOT FIRED FROM HIS JOB N IS BROKE NOW. IM NOT EVEN FROM CALI N IM NOT WHITE… I BANG THERE MUSIC. I KNO NIGGAS THAT CANT BE FUCKED WITH BY ANYONE ON THIS SHIT THAT LISTEN TO THEM SO WHOEVER SAID U HAVE TO HAVE SPIKEY HAIR N black pulled up tube socks N BIG TRUCKS TO JAM MUSIC IS A FUCKIN PUTOFACE. I WILL GIVE MONEY TO THE PERSON THAT CAN PROVE ME WRONG.

30 01 2009
420

HAHA DAMN I WAS ONE OF THE FIRST TO HIT THIS PUNK ASS WITH MY OPNION AND LOOKS LIKE ALOT OF PEOPLE FEEL THE SAME WAY AND SOME DONT. FOR ALL U PEOPLE THAT THINK THAT ALL KMK FANS R SOME WASHED UP, WHITE TRASH, WORTHLESS PIECES OF SHIT I FUCKEN JUST SIT BACK N LAUGH. YA I LIKE LIFTED TRUCKS, RIDEN DIRT BIKES, GETTING TATTED AND SMOKEN SOME GREEN BUT I WORK 50 HOURS A WEEK AND PROBABLY MAKEN MORE THAN ALL U FUCKERS. SO DONT HATE THE LIFESTYLE CUZ WE ALL GOT ONE.

8 02 2009
i smoke pot

i smoke pot.. ALOT. and i think this band sucks. i used to live on the east coast 6 years ago… NEVER FUCKING HEARD OF THIS BAND, no one did over there. so i move out west … people are like listen to this band omg they rule they sing about pot! ok big deal, but, as embarrassed as i am to say this, i went to a few shows and i bought that one album rollin stoned cause i liked the “concept” cause im a huge stoner. after i heard like all the other tracks at live shows or heard people play their other albums aka their 1st album part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 whatever ( for u idiots that means the same shit since day 1 ALL SOUNDS THE SAME…SO FUCKING BORING,as a band youre supposed to grow, not continue to suck) its repetitive…not creative… and it gets worse every time.
i dont wanna hear shit cause im hatin, cause i GAVE THEM A TRY… so i know from experience they suck
on top of that, the “kings” as people suck! they are stuck up as fuck, can only “rap” lyrics are whack, rhythm is the same in like every song,
been in the game 13 years? as if they deserve some kinda respect for that? they have a following sure, …but it doesn’t go outside of the westcoast. to me, thats not very successful.

ooohh..oohhh… now for the fans of theses peeps… wow, ya’ll are some kinda spectacle. lol

“FOR ALL U PEOPLE THAT THINK THAT ALL KMK FANS R SOME WASHED UP, WHITE TRASH, WORTHLESS PIECES OF SHIT I FUCKEN JUST SIT BACK N LAUGH. YA I LIKE LIFTED TRUCKS, RIDEN DIRT BIKES, GETTING TATTED AND SMOKEN SOME GREEN”

ah…bros….i dont even need to talk about that…this guy talks shit on himself lol.

anyway in closing kmk sucks..the kings as ppl suck…they’re fans , dont suck..they just need to be slapped with good music, have you ever heard of led zeppelin, metallica, pantera, black sabbath? now thats good shit.. your small minds probably couldn’t even comprehend that music..

When I need some lovin, just heat up the oven
Get that dick sucken bitch, get them titties rubbin
Put it on me good, put it on me right
I wanna turn you out and hit that shit all night
Do it nice and slow, cuz I said so
Put the panties on the floor, Im gonna make you scream for more
You know how we do, we BMW
Bitches Most Wanted all them hoes wanna fuck the crew
(Don’t make me beg)

…spoken in the words of a true poet lol

ok im done.

13 02 2009
kevin

so this blog is so funny. i do agree kottonmouth kings is terrible. i have always hated them but this blog has turned into
more of hatefest on there fans than the band. yes do i belive they make bad music but thats my opinion and if you heard my music what i listen too you might say the same.
it just seems weird that we have to put so many labels and pass
judgement on what ppl wear and what they listen too. ill tell you right now im a big mofo and i wear what fits haha. what i cant understand why you would hate on someone for lifting there truck and hittin the dunes. i come a small town called pahrump less than 30mins from dumont. i love it out there.
cause to me and my friends riding and working on trucks is
somethen we do for fun. we dont have to drop srh or say were bros. we do what we love and its not kottonmouth kings is telling us to. cause to me the concept of getting stoned is retarded anyways. to poison your mind when you could be doing others thing with your life is a waste to me.
its terrible how all you guys just hate or proudly admitt being something. idk i grew up listening to hardcore and riding
those are two favorite things. it blows my mind why any girl would wanna be called a bro hoe. its about being on the sand havin a good time with your friends and family cause in the end thats all you have

19 02 2009
Anonymous.

Rapcore is mainstream. Therefore KMK is mainstream, I listened to 5 songs, sex,pot,and pointless fuck no one cares about.
But hey it’s me. KMK is one of the bands that cause guys to suffer sexual anxiety, how sweet. Fuck mainsteam life, I’ll rather have a 2 story house and have enough money to buy 25 Playstation 25 Xbox and 25 Nintendo consoles, insetad of sitting in my house smoking pot and fuck girls in exchange for hiv,poor job,beat up house,bullet wounds from other kids every 3 days.
Yeah, KMK is soooooooooo correct.

I’ll uhhhh go listen to Sonata Arctica and The Offsprings.

26 02 2009
JUGGALO

fuck you if you dont like them keep it to your self you whiney little bitch dont fuck with the juggalos you fucking pussy!!!!! by the way my name is robert borrego i want you to know just who the fuck i am and if you got a problem find me on myspace at rickybobby151@hotmail.com

3 03 2009
Brian

Kid, are you fuckin serious? Who the hell makes a call to action through their myspace? Go figure, you’re fuckin 19 and a dork. Stoops…

3 03 2009
JUGGALO

MUTHA FUCKER: HERE, CALL ME AT HOME (617) 861-3962 BITCH. BACK YO SHIT UP. I WILL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF WITH MY KOTTONMOUF, BITCHASS MYSPACE HATER!!! ME AND TOM ARE BUDS AND WE’RE GOING TO BEAT YOUR PUNK ASS UP.

6 03 2009
kevin

haha your bitch and i saw your page
it looks like you would go down with one hit
if theres anything worse than kottonmouth kings
its fuckin gayass clowns that rap
and the fans that listen to that garbage

6 03 2009
JUGGALO

“okay malibu kevin” go back to playing with your stoopid barbie doll. dont hate because youre a red head and your mom has insane clown pussy.

7 03 2009
kevin

haha where the hell did you get malibu kevin and wtf does a barbie doll have to
do with anything. yea im not redhead haha but mom comment was a good burn. i gotta give you that.

21 03 2009
Sheo

Okay, the fact that most of the people on here trying to rep the Kottonmouth Kings either don’t know how to use capitol letters or can’t turn off caps lock is kind of stupid. The fact that the rest of you seem to believe that everyone that likes the Kottonmouth Kings are idiots is even worse.
Really, I’m 15 and I seem to know more about grammar than all the rest of the KMK fans on here. I listen to everything, including opera, so don’t even start trying to tell me what good music is. Good music, in my opinion, is good music. There are no set rules for it.
Seriously, just let people have their own opinions and stop bagging on them for it. If you have the balls to do that, you have more courage than most of the world. If you don’t, get some.

While you’re at it, listen to the first albums and then the last ones and you should notice at the very least a quality jump. Fuck, listen to Positive Vibes.

16 04 2009
Kyle4201605

listen you stupid lame asses , you talk your shit but if you step up to a bro they would pound ure shit into the ground!!! the people that hate on the kings are usually bitches that talk shit online like the stupid fucks above. you wish you could get chick like ours but you just get lame ass nerdy bitches. Kottonmouth kings having been putting on sick ass shows for ten years bitch what the fuck you got on that!!! Just shut the fuck up you jealous bitches.
DGAF!!!!

18 04 2009
Babygurl

Wow. i would have never thought that The Kottonmouth Kings could bring up this many arguments. U r all idiots. music is music, none of it “sucks”. u just dont like it. if u dont like a song, keep it to ur fucking self. Bagging on shit all the time annoys ppl, so knock it off. Personally, i love KMK. And i myself have a spade tattoo to represent. i fucking like it, and so do a lot of ppl. its our kind of music, we have fun listening to it. we dont need ppl like u fags bashing on a band that u dont even like the genre. also, i think rock is annoying.. as all hell. but im not sittin on the internet bored out of my mind bashing on it now do i? no. u shouldn’t either, its a waste of all ur time. i ran across this website looking at KMK pics actually, and it was disappointing to me. hopefully all u kids grow a pair and grow up.

18 04 2009
Babygurl

oh i forgot one more thing!!
its really sad that the person who started this shit, even went through the time to try n find pics of ppl with spade or kmk tats. thats hilarious!! and its also disrespectful.. u dont go n use other ppls pics u fuckin creep!

22 04 2009
Newp

Dude Just chill out its just music yeah you can bash it all you want but then again what ever you listen to some one else is bashing on them too I myself like KMK but hey who cares because I’m listening to them not you! oh btw if they sounded like shit when they started it dont mean nothing every one has to start some where oh to the guy who said ‘DGAF” is a kid thing? wow thats all I gotta say Peace out to fag who started this. =]

3 05 2009
mike

ok, you spelled “spelled” as “spelt”. You ARE FUCKING RETARDED. and hendrix was good, but he’s dead now, faggot. move on!

3 05 2009
mike

and my friends and i agree that you give better head than your girlfriend. i dont think thats a good thing

3 05 2009
mike

i think you’re gay

3 05 2009
mike

no, you suck…..kottonmouth KING-sized dick bitch

3 05 2009
mike

and one day your girlfriend will tell you that she’s been cheating on you for the past 5 years with a goat

3 05 2009
Sandy

Kid, you’re stupid. Guess they don’t educate you well in “North Carolina.” If you’d peep the “about” tab you’d see that I’m a female. Anyhow, it was fun while it lasted but all you lil kids and lamers that like the Cotton Dorks are crampin’ my style. I am finally closing this blog post.




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