Starbucks is the new Fat!

20 08 2008

With superfoods like Acai and the “pay for the packaging, over-priced” Monavie, it seems like coffee shops have become the new fast food stops of America. So I’m chilling in my car this morning sippin on some yummy Tazo Green Tea Ginger (not a fan of coffee, that shit’s like a laxative) and I came to realize, Starbucks is the new fat! With in a mere 10 minutes I saw about 5 woman walk by my car with some mass calorie filled concoctions from the coffee corpo Starbucks. Almost all these drinks were frothed up with a mountain of whip cream and chocolate syrup: and 4 out of the 5 woman were of the super chunky persuasion. There they were waddling out, thinking “oh it’s coffee, must be low in calorie, and I’ll probably shit ieverything out in 20 minutes.” NOT the case with those massive frappachinos they were guzzling down, hence the laxative factor is quickly dismissed. These sorry wildabeasts, what’s next to contribute to their disease? Starbucks already has a drive through (like fast food) perhaps a “would you like to supergrande it?”

And the funniest shit of all, there was this rather rotund chick who was jiggling her way out of Starbucks and she was wearing a shirt that read: “I love skaters.”

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