15 Reasons You’re a “Bro”

3 08 2009


  1. You reside in So Cal, more specifically the IE. Crappy cities such as San Bernardino, Beaumont, Banning, Riverside, Rancho Cucamonga (sorry Mom), Corona, and even Orange County. Actually, lots of parts of Orange County such as Huntington Beach (the IE by the sea), Newport Beach and uh yeah.
  2. You drive what you think is a kick-ass lifted truck! Preferably white with huge monster truck tires and lame  stickers on your back window (So Cal, SKIN, Affliction, Metal Mulisha, etc.)yeah-bro
  3. Your entire wardrobe consists of dickies, bandanas, black tube socks, white chunky skate shoes (even though you couldn’t skate if your life depended on it), and an array of Afflicition, SKIN, Sullen, SRH, and Famous Stars and Straps T-shirts.
  4. Your body is covered in shit-ass tattoos that you decided to get once the whole “tattoo” trend started. Your favorites are your matching swallows, nautical stars and those cool flames that run up your waist.
  5. You’re an avid reader of SKINNIE magazine.
  6. Some of your favorite bands are the Kotton Mouth Kings, Insane Clown Posse, Linkin Park, New Found Glory, Good Charlotte, and P.O.D.
  7. You use the words “juggalo,” “Spade,” or “weed” in your email address or myspace url (you’re too ghetto for Facebook).
  8. Your drinks of choice are Coors Light,  Monster Energy Drink and Jägermeister!
  9. Your live for Super Cross! Yeah bro!
  10. You always wear a flat-billed hat cocked to the side and when you’re feeling fancy you sport a bandanna under it.
  11. If you’re not feeling the hat, sometimes you like to grab some blue La Bella hair gel (economy sized) and show off your spiked frosted-tips.
  12. You’re still sporting white framed Black Flys from 95′ (Fly No. 5’s).
  13. You’re pierced! You have plugs, a tongue ring, lip ring or an eye brow ring (or all of the above).
  14. Your girlfriend has bleached platinum hair, heavy face make-up to cover the meth scabs, and wears those chunky marshmallow-like platform sandals that are made of some weird styrofoam.
  15. You live with your parents but swear you’re a baller and you’re starting a clothing line (how many of those “bro” start-up clothing lines are there, ridiculous!)



9 responses

3 08 2009

This made my monday morning! but you forgot UFC and Glamis!

3 08 2009
Niki Sanchez

the letters “J” and “P” come to mind….

3 08 2009

Now I know why I heart you so much. You remind me a lot of one of my best friends from high school. I got to introduce you two sometime (she lives in San Diego).

3 08 2009

Uggg! JP! WTF was I thinking! LOL

5 08 2009
pae pae

don’t forget the ever so popular “got sand?” sticker on those zebra print lifted bro-mobiles! what about the city of brosta mesa? remember when bros used to wear puka shell necklaces? do they still do that?

5 08 2009

Oh man Pae! I just laughed out loud, loud and hard: “bro-mobile!” Awesome.

6 08 2009
Hipsters, And Why Nobody Likes Them « Grimy Goods

[…] tend to falsely get categorized. Nevertheless, I still poke fun at them as I do with any trendy or lame shit. I just can’t stand an over-saturated style that gets far too much hype. Just like a hot […]

28 08 2009

Umm actuallylifted trucks are tight theyd smash your Mini Coopre any day.And i think if your gonna bag on “Bros” atleast get the drinks right only cowboys and old ppl drink coors light “Bros” drink bud light.your a dumb bitch but i guess you geta lotof attention huh so i guess thatmakes you an attention whore…..

31 08 2009

LOL funny ass bros cant stand em

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